Big Brother

Imagine being taken from your parents for a few days. The next time you see them, they have another person with them. They are holding, snuggling, caring for this person. They treat this stranger like they treat you. What's worse, the little creature comes to your house, takes up space and time. They call her your sister, yours... Your whole life is turned upside down.
This has been Samuels life the last few weeks. I couldn't be more proud of him. He loves his sister. He wants to hold her and care for her. Sure he gets frustrated with when she cries and he wants attention. But overall he is more content then before she was born.
Why? Gods grace! I have prayed, and prayed for for this. What a blessed woman I am to have these 2 treasures. Our little man has a purpose, he is a brother. He was born to be a leader and now he has someone to lead.
Samuel is still an active little boy, in fact he is finding he has more free time than before. Last week he used that time to learn to open the fridge. After opening the fridge he found the eggs, the eggs found the floor, all 18 of them. All I heard was uh-oh...mommy, uh-oh.
Today he worked on redoing the tile in the bathroom floor. His intentions are so sweet. They nullify any anger his deeds might bring. He brings me baby wipes and throws away diapers. He talks to me, tells me stories and gives lots of hugs. He even behaves better in the store. If I ask him to be wait, he says "yes" and waits patiently. Every moment is not perfect, days are exhausting and overwhelming. I want to pull my hair out most days after naps. But I love this new family and I'm so incredibly in love with my big little boy. Happy 23 months big boy, you are dearly loved my treasure, my little girl is so blessed to have you as a brother.

Birth Stories

Adalyn is almost 2 weeks old now! She is a calm, gentle child(so far). She rarely fusses, sleeps long stretches and loves to look you in the eyes. She has beautiful deep grey eyes and sandy brown hair. Her face has already changed. I know she looks like me, I love that, it's something truly amazing, seeing your good qualities in someone. She defiantly has her daddy in her too. Her eyes and hair are all his. I love that! I'm so excited to see her change even more.
Her pregnancy was far more simple than Samuel's, as was labor. I hardly new she was coming. It was fast. I started having contractions early Monday morning. They were not consistent or painful till much later that evening. Around 6pm my water broke. Mom and Joe convinced me to go into the hospital, even though I was very much opposed to the idea. We got there and discovered I was group B strep positive. It's a virus that many people carry in their bodies, though not harmful to me, it's very dangerous to infants. It's important to be at the hospital after your water breaks so preventative antibiotics can be administered. thank you mom and Joe for forcing me to go in. We sat in triage for an hour. Contractions started getting closer, about every four minutes apart. But I did not feel like they were strong enough to bring baby soon.
In the delivery room things progressed the same. My midwife Becky Harris did a quick ultrasound the ensure baby was head down. I had to be monitored another hour before I was allowed to get out of bed. When I finally got up to move around, things kicked into high gear. Every contraction was hard, I could feel them working. Within the hour we called in my midwife. I was 7 cm dilated. That may not seem like much, but i knew baby was coming soon. Becky started to get things ready for baby to come. About 5 contractions later I felt the urge to push. Rather than make me wait, or check me again Becky decided to let my body do what it was working toward. She told me to push. I did and Adie came right out at 11:26 pm on the bed rather than into someone's arms. Mom said Adie was just sitting up crying, looking around. She was ready, even though the rest of us weren't. (;
the next few moments were wonderful. I got to hold her, in fact I was the first one to cuddle my baby girl. The thought brings tears to my eyes. I did not miss a moment of her life, from birth till now, Ive been there. I missed out on that with Samuel. I am so grateful the hospital changed policy's and nurses in between the two births. It was like I was in a completely different facility. My midwife was wonderful. Few doctors would allow a woman to just listen to her body when in labor. Most have charts, deadlines, marks to follow. I am very blessed. We had wonderful nurses too. Each one gave us special care and attention. After Samuel was born I did not understand why many enjoyed birth, labor, delivery and postpartum were difficult for me. But now I know, and it is beautiful.
I still can't believe how easily this little girl came into the world. Not easy like a stroll in the park. but like a marathon you have trained for. This natural birth was made possible by God. Because my best training were my meditations at His feet. Daily I asked for the strength to endure
Labor and for a birth so miraculous I could not deny Gods hand in it. Adalyn was born April 15 th, exactly one year after we lost our 2 nd child, and after a quick labor. I cannot, nor do i have any desire to deny the hands that brought such prosperity. To God be the Glory!

God Sees Me

He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. (Ephesians 1:7,8)

April 11, 2012. I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I was shocked, so I took another, also positive. The next next day I took another. "negative" it said. April 13 I knew why. By April 15 th the baby was gone, almost as soon as he was known. I cried alone for my child. Only a few close friends and family new. This baby wasn't planned, and it wasn't a "good" time. But I loved him. There is no science to say this baby was a boy. But i know he was. I just know. As i nursed my 10 month old my heart ached knowing i had another to care for, one that I was powerless to save.
This was the tone of 2012. It had already been a struggle, my great uncle passed away, my aunt got cancer. The coming months brought more anguish. We spent days in Nebraska courts watching part of our extended family fall apart. And Later in May i watched my husband carry his fathers casket. A wonderful man whose death had been sudden and we felt too soon. In October an intruder broke into our house. Removing all remaining sense of physical security from my mind. I remember wanting to cry that night, but i had no tears left. Sleepless nights with what seemed like endless night terrors followed. For the first time in my life I had no control, over anything. I realized how frail life was, and in this I saw how big God could be.

In June we found out we were expecting a new niece and after that, another child of our own. Knowing our niece was coming was so exciting, we were desperate for some joy in our family. And that's what sweet Billi Joy has brought. She is a dear treasure.

April 15, 2013. I sat in the same house where i had cried so many tears, but this time was different. Contractions told me our baby was on her way. I wept a lot during labor. I wasn't sad, and it was hard, but my tears were not from pain. they were tears of joy, sweet joy in knowing God sees me. Rather than mourning the loss of our second child, I was bringing our 3 rd into the world.
Adalyn Kate Savery. Born about 11:30 pm April 15, 2013. Her name means to show kindness, compassion, nobility, to be pure. Her middle name Kate, after a friend who is pure of heart and full of compassion.

Adalyn is God's kindness to us, to me. Even though I spent a great deal of last year in anger towards God, he saw me. I was overwhelmed with situations, problems I did not cause. I was frustrated with humanity and all powerful God who let other peoples actions change my life. He met me where I was. Like Hagar in Genesis, he cares for and comforts her though she was far from his will. I had no reason to be bitter. If the Bible is true then Heaven is real and perfect, why would I want to take my child, my father-in law from there? But I was angry even hateful, still God saw me. God is real. As a hold my child, I know she may be gone at any moment. I am no more equipped to protect her than I was to save the baby, and the father we buried. But I am content to know she is safe. because if she would leave this earth she will be in perfect Heaven, and comfort would come to me. Because God sees me. Adalyn or Adie(pronounced A-D) reminds me God is real, he's powerful, he is BIG. Rain falls on the just and the unjust, but God sees his children. I have learned so much this year. I would not trade these events for a life of ease. I will live them again to know the greatness of God. He longs to bring comfort to His children. To show us his plans will yield prosperity. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Fall fast in His arms brothers and sisters, there is no better place to rest.

Snow Day

Day #2 of mass snow fall. At about 12:00 the sun finally came out and the snow started to ease up. The storm left mounds of fluffy piles behind. Last night Joe and I shoveled our car out since Joe had to be at work at 6:00am. I'm so glad we did. It took us 2 hours and Joe still had more shoveling to do when he got up. I'm dreading the massive drift that's on our sidewalk. The snow is wet, heavy and deep. But it is beautiful and I'm so thankful for the moisture it will bring.
Day one we were so blessed to have a semi family day. Joe was working from home, but Sam really didn't let him get much done. Sam was so excited to have his daddy home with him all day. They played music, watched movies, ate junk food and made lots of messes.
Day two Joe ventured to work. Sam and I played outside, read books and made hot chocolate. I some how have to survive the rest of the day cooped up with my wild toddler. But we have been doing lots of random activities and playing games. I'm so thankful he is sleeping during his nap time today.

Cousins

Sam has lots of wonderful cousins. We love them all! Saturday we spent the whole day with our newest family member Billi Joy. She is such a gorgeous, precious little one. Sam adores her and would try to "help" her whenever she cried. I'm so excited to watch their relationship blossom. And what a treasure to have our little girls just a couple months apart.

2 months in pictures

I love my camera. Even though I don't know how to use most of the features, it take beautiful pictures on the auto setting. I'm so excited to capture more moments with it.