So many changes happen in pregnancy, your body, your brain, your desires. Nothing in your life is off limits, everything is turned upside down. I know all these changes have a purpose, some of these purposes are not so clear to me. Like Stretch marks, why? What conceivable good can they be to you, or your body?
Hormones are another one of these things, specifically fits of range and bouts of deep sadness. Hormones can ruin your hours, days, weeks and months. They come early in pregnancy and taunt you well after your baby has entered the world. Hormones sickly alter your perception of everything.
But they also soften my heart. I can more easily see the world through a child's eyes. Thinking of injustice brings tears to my eyes and pain to my heart. As a child I loved and lived with great passion, I wasn't hindered by my experiences or bias, love drove me forward. I believed all God said and sought him with deep fervor. I chased dreams which the adult me would find unattainable. And my praise to God came from deep within me. I longed to know more of God and to seek him wholly. I knew I was young and weak, but I knew God could do all things so I had few fears. My hormones bring me to this place again.
Yes I cry, and become angered easily. My view of situations is often limited to a small tunnel, these are great hindrances. But I see my weakness and seek God all the more in it. Like Paul hormones are the thorn in my side. I ask God to take them away, to make me see clearly, and I don't. I feel powerless, but in this I find great strength. God says "my power is made perfect in your weakness". That makes God sound mean, a bully to force us to need him. But God is no bully, he desires the best for us. The best thing is, he knows what's best for us. Giving me a weakness that makes me lean on him is a blessing, because he knows we're to lead me. Be encouraged fellow pregnant/post pregnant ladies, let your uncontrollable emotions lead you to cry to God, praise him with joyful tears, and to love unrestrained. This part of the refining is a painful one, but it's worth it.
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